I’ve never grasped the nettle on these meme things, having reached that age where technology is starting to frighten me. But I made a couple of discoveries today. First there’s a tree-following meme and Pat, aka @Squirrelbasket on Twitter, who hosts this tree meme thingy hangs around occasionally in my old stomping patch of Cardiff. Moreover, she seems to be a regular visitor to my then local park (Thompson’s Park) where, once upon a time, a gardener told my junior school visiting class that the tree we were standing beside was so big because all the boys in the school had, over the years, peed behind it during football games. And pee was good. Boy pee especially. Seems we have it! Unlike Mum who once nipped behind a hedge to interrupt a long journey and lowered her nethers into a stinging nettle patch. She didn’t have it, though she did hop around a while trying to find it.

Click the tree to jump to the Squirrelbasket blog.

Anyhow I thought I’d dip my toe in the water and follow a tree. I’m not going far from home though. As a novice, I’m going to follow a tree in my front lawn. It’s even easier because that tree hasn’t moved around much since I planted it. But it’s a survivor. The only remaining tree in front of the house.

There was a sumac nearby. That went a few years ago. Its suckers went less than a few years ago. But they all eventually went. I gained a few square yards more lawn.

Then there was a whitebeam. Big! Very big! Even big by Donald Turnip’s standards! Taller than the house! Pain in the butt! Didn’t leaf up till mid July. Started dropping end of August. I’d spend an hour most days through September and October collecting leaves from my front lawn and the neighbours’ front lawns. As far as a 30 metre extension lead would allow the garden vac to go around the street. As each day in leaf represented an hour of leaf vacuuming, last year it expired as a result of an accidental encounter with one of my chainsaws. I’ve still got to chop down the core. But no point following that, other than to record its final demise.

So I’m going to follow tree 3. This is a common-or-garden malus. It has to be because I’ve lost the label that made the difference between any old common-or-garden malus and a defined cultivar.

Looks great when the fruits are out. Until the blackbirds find it.

I have a love-hate relationship with this tree. As you’ll discover in due course. But this is an introduction so the due course has to come later. I’ve mentioned pee. The “due course” involves poop. Lots of it! And wind. Which is often associated with poop but not in this case. But it adds to the anticipation (the wind, not the poop). As will pruning. It needs a lot of thinning out and maybe this tree-following will spur me into action to tidy it up.

If I’ve got it right, instalments in my tree-following saga need to be posted around the 7th of each month. OK? See you on February 7th. Or thereabouts. If I haven’t cut this tree down by then.

10 thoughts on “I’M FOLLOWING A TREE FOR 2017

  1. Looking forward to the love-hate detail – I got a tiny malus stick for my birthday last year, so I want to know what I’m in for. It still has a label on it though.

    1. Thanks for commenting. The story of how this tree arrived in the garden will be told around August to fill in during a quiet month when the tree does little else than be a tree, host lichen and celebrate it’s 24th birthday.

    1. The pee’s all in the park (or the compost bin). Only poop to look forward to now.

  2. Very excited about the prospect of this! Well, about the TREE, not so enthusiastic about the poop… sorry…

    1. I’m hoping the meme will give me the discipline to give the tree what it needs this year and at the right time. Some TLC is overdue!

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